Comparison of '08 Candidates (and their hand gestures)

Barack Obama: "Thumbs Up". I created this blog giving him the thumbs up few years back, and I spelled his name wrong. Well, not that wrong. To make matters more complicated, his middle name is Hussein. And, yes, at one point he went to a madrasah. We all did. Madrasah means "school". He is smart, inspiring and a great symbol of hope. He should be the next President of the United States.

Ron Paul: "Hands Off". Someone has to get the Republican nomination, I suppose. How about this Texas doctor and congressman, a self-professed "Stickler for the Constitution" who believes in reality-based foreign policy? Watch this interview. I don't like his domestic stances, but Ron seems to be a genuine American patriot and a real Republican.

Hillary Clinton: "Stop, Hillary Time". What did we just learn (2001-2007) about dynastic presidencies? They don't work. The Clintons owe too many people too many favors. And Hillary appears hell-bent on gaining power at any cost. This article summarizes some of my issues with her. Watch this frightening video of her stump speech.

Rudy Giuliani: "Wiggle Fingers". Looks like he's gonna do it. He's running for President of 9/11. What a piece of dung! Not even the top Firefighters Union is endorsing him. Read this explosive letter where they blast him. If this "terrorism expert" gets elected, this country is in trouble.

John Edwards: "That's Not My Finger". Edwards can thank Ann Coulter's latest homophobic antics for reminding the world that he still exists. Of course, she was trying to do the same thing for herself. An original co-sponser of the Iraq War, Edwards should not be quarterback of this country after making such a bad play. Now, John Edward is another story. What the hell happened to that guy?
*UPDATE* Edwards' advisers say they pushed him to support the war.

Mitt Romney: "Karate Chop". Moments after declaring his intentions to run for President, Romney scurried off to the Middle East where he flirted with hawks and discussed the prospects of attacking Iran. He also thinks we need to double the size of our Gulag at Guantanamo Bay. Is this guy even real? He seems more like an actor playing the role of the conservative politician on the Sci-Fi Channel or something. Ugh.

Joe Biden: "Invisible Head Massage". If Biden manages to bungle his campaign within minutes of launching it, then surely he is not fit to be President. I saw him on the Daily Show that night, and he didn't even bother defending himself. And he has some plan to turn Iraq into the Balkans. Hey, at least he has a plan. But that's one messed up storybook, man.

John McCain: "Lobster Claw". McCain is unflinching in his support for the Iraq debacle. In fact, he supports war every time. He was originally the Neocons' golden boy back in 2000, before Bush won the nomination. Attack Iran? Of course he would. He may even want to settle the score with his old Vietnamese captors if he becomes Commander in Chief. Maybe just a few carpet bombings for old times sake. I don't buy his pseudo-independent persona. He hugs Bush a little too hard, if you ask me.

Newt Gingrich: "Deflection". I really can't stand this slimy creature. While trying to impeach Bill Clinton for having an affair with an intern, Newt was cheating on his second wife, who had cancer. Read about Newt's wandering eye. Also, read about how GinGrinch believes the government should stifle free speech. What a repulsive little amphibian he is.

Chuck Hagel: "The Box". Way too conservative, but Hagel is at least right about Iraq. He fought in Vietnam and then built his own multi-million dollar business from scratch. Hagel thinks for himself and cares about this country. His media technique is a bit odd. Yesterday, he made a formal announcement that he had no formal announcement. A fake pass. Um. Touché?

*UPDATE* Bill Richardson: "Invisible Basketball". I forgot about Richardson. I like him. He's qualified. He cares. A good speaker. But he desperately needs someone to say something offensive about him if he wants to stay in the game. Where's Biden? I mean ya' got the first mainstream Hispanic who is articulate and bright and clean and speaks English...