See, The Irony is that I'm Not Making This Up

Bush, private and uncensored, is even more of an embarrassment to the United States then we could ever have imagined. At the G8 summit last week, Bush forgot to turn off his microphone. No, he didn't act like Lieutenant Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun and go use the bathroom with it still on. What he did was much worse. He acted like George W. Bush. As Russian TV filmed shots of the summit, they inadvertently recorded him conversing with other guests, including the Prime Minister of China and poodle Tony Blair. I have written an accurate transcript of the video with my own comments added in brackets. This is not satirical but an actual transcript of the entire video found here. As the recording begins, Bush answers a question about an upcoming speech he will give at the summit.

Bush: I'm just gonna make it up. I'm not gonna talk too damn long like the rest of them. Some of these guys talk too long.

[Then we hear Bush asking the Prime Minister of China about his post-G8 plans]

Bush: How 'bout you? Where you going? Home?

[Prime Minister Hu Jintao's reply is inaudible]

Bush: This is your neighborhood. It don't take you long to go home.

[Bush isn't aware that Beijing is almost 4000 miles from St. Petersburg, Russia]

Bush: Eight hours???

[Bush turns to Russian President Vladimir Putin]

Bush: It takes him eight hours to fly home!

[A waiter attempts to give him a coke]

Bush: No, Diet Coke, Diet Coke....It takes him eight hours to fly home. Eight hours. Russia's big and so is China.

[Bush has just learned some interesting geographical factoids. ENTER Tony Blair]

Bush: Yo, Blair. What are you doing?

Blair: I'm just...

Bush: You leaving?

Blair: No, no. Not yet.

[Blair attempts to talk about a trade issue. This doesn't interest Bush]

Bush: Hey thanks for the sweater! I know you picked it out yourself.

Blair: Absolutely. I knitted it.

[Bush then complains to Blair about UN Secretary Kofi Annan calling for a ceasefire between Israel and Hezbollah]

Bush: I don't like the sequence of it. His attitude is basically ceasefire and everything is settled. But. Know what I'm saying?

Blair: [stuttering] Yeah. No, I think the-the-the-the-really-the-whole-thing is really is that we can't stop this unless you get this international presence agreed.

[Blair then explains that he wants to go the Mideast immediately to begin negotiating an international troop presence to stop the fighting. Bush interrupts him]

Bush: I think Condi's gonna go pretty soon.

Blair: Right, well, that's, that's all that matters.

[Blair then begs for Bush's permission to go to Israel/Lebanon immediately, before Condi Rice. Bush, with a mouth full of crackers, interrupts him again]

Bush: I told her your offer too.

[Blair, Bush's poodle, seems to realize he has begged his master too much. He goes into submissive mode]

Blair: Well it's only if it's, I mean you know, she's gotta.. Or if she needs the ground prepared, as it were. Because obviously if she goes out she needs to succeed, whereas I can go out and...

[Bush again interrupts his babbling, begging British poodle]

Bush: See, the irony is what they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit, and it's over.

[Bush didn't know that Russia and China were "big" countries, nor does he know the definition of irony, but now he is an expert on the politics of Hezbollah]

Blair: [referring to Syrian President Assad] Look, what does he think? He thinks if Lebanon turns out fine, if we get a solution in Israel/Palestine, if Iraq goes the right way...

Bush: He's through.

Blair: He's had it. And that's what this whole thing is about. It's the same with Iran.

[Blair is saying that Syria and Iran know they will become targets if the other conflicts in the region are resolved]

Bush: I felt like telling Kofi to go get on the phone with Assad and make something happen. We're not blaming Israel. We're not blaming the Lebanese government.

[Blair then sees the microphone is turned on and switches it off]

Eugene Robinson, in the Washington Post, expressed my sentiments on this uncensored sneak-peak of Bush being a "world leader" at the G8, and he offered a good assessment of Bush's response to Israel's latest war. Very rarely do I post other people's writing, but his piece reminded me of a previous post, and he really hits the nail on the head: