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Politicking Timebomb
Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Dick Cheney Got Drafted?

"I mean, I didn't ask for this job. I didn't campaign for it. I got drafted. And delighted to serve."

Last Sunday Dick Cheney assured Face the Nation that, despite his low poll numbers, he would never back down from being Vice President of the United States. What a courageous man he is. With an approval rating at 19%, it takes a lot of balls not to cut and run. Cheney has long proved himself a man of service to his nation. Except of course during the Vietnam war, when he applied for and received five (5) deferments to avoid the draft. Five. But let's not pass judgement here. Cheney would have happily served in Vietnam, assuming the following were true:

1. The Viet Cong were domestically bred, wing-clipped birds.
2. Before raids, the Viet Cong were removed from cages and stuck upside down into thick brush where they remained stunned and motionless.
3. U.S. troops were driven to the exact spots where the Viet Cong had been placed into the brush.
4. After stirring them from the brush using barking dogs, U.S. troops were allowed to mercilessly fire upon the Viet Cong with M-16s as they attemped to flee.

Given those circumstances, our Vice President would have bravely fought in Vietnam, with only an occasional friendly-fire incident to blemish his otherwise valiant service to this nation.

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